you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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