well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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