You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
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