my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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