Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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