Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
