Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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