eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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