my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize