I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
jump out the window naked night went bad
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
