I am puke
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
