I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
