it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was CRYING into my vagina
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
