there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Randomize
