Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
