Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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