Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
