and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
