just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize