Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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