We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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