I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
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IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
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he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
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