You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
