I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
