i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"