dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?