Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.