hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..