sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
