Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
