will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
