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• (225): View more from Louisiana

  things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile

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• (828): View more from North Carolina

  is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.

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• (765): View more from Indiana

  Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.

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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.

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• (650): View more from California

  orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night

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• (501): View more from Arkansas

  The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA

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