Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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