Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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