How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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