I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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