the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
