I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize