just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
