Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
