So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
