Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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