Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
