Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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