she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
