Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
