I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
