I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if only i could text you this smell
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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