If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
