when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
