Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
