Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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