You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize