onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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