I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize