sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
