The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
