What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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