Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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