There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
tell me about the eggs
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
