This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
