i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
