i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I'm always down for nudity.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
