Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
